


Mr. and Mrs. Mundy

by Zombie2315



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: F/M, Love, Marriage, TF2 Comic Universe, Temporary Character Death, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 14:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11255277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombie2315/pseuds/Zombie2315
Summary: The team had disbanded after Grey Mann came along and stole Mann Co. from Saxton Hale. When Miss Pauling was given orders to round the gang back up, she expected to have a few difficulties here and there - nothing she couldn't work with, but she didn't expect to arrive in Australia and find none other than the new Mr. and Mrs. Mundy.(This follows the TF2 comics, all events and dialogue is taken from there aside from the Reader who I merely inserted into the plot. TF2 Belongs to Valve.)





	1. The Happy Couple

**Miss Pauling’s POV**

 

“Oh, he’s definitely here,” I replied to Scout, walking beside the spy and demoman. We’d finally landed in Australia and if everything goes according to plan the team will have one more familiar face within a few hours, “Let’s just hope he’s happy to see us.”

 

After Spy, Demo and I went our separate ways, me and Demo hopped into a rental car and started heading towards our next destination. My interaction with the Administrator started playing in my mind as I drove on the dirt road, remembering how on edge the usually composed woman was. That last cache of Australium, it has to land in our hands, _it has to_. I repeated that in my head, followed by the coordinates that absolutely couldn’t reach any of the others who were looking for it.

 

I was disturbed from my racing mind by the shrill ringing of my phone, hearing Spy’s voice on the other end after answering. He wasn’t pleased to be partnered up with Soldier and Zhanna, apparently viewing it more as a babysitting mission. He hung up as I started to slow the car down and promised to call when he was done with his portion of the job.

 

“Ach, pull over. This looks like the place,” Demo voiced from the passenger seat, looking from a small picture in his hand to the house surrounded by over-grown grass, “Bloody Hell, I’ve slept on _toilets_ nicer than this. Sniper’s _parents_ live here?”

 

“They _did_. What _happened_ here…?” I stepped out of the car and followed Demo to the front door, observing the inside as we passed the threshold, “Hello? Mr. and Mrs. Mundy? Sniper?”

 

Demo looked over at me, “Miss Pauling, all we’re gonna find is a room fulla piss-jars and fingernails,” he glanced around again, “The man’s a bloody lunatic. We tried to find him, and we can’t. Good riddance. Let’s get outta this hovel before he makes a lamp out of our faces.”

 

As he continued, I turned to further investigate the room, however I was spinning on my heels seconds later after hearing him shout, “Demo!” The next few moments were a blur, however that didn’t stop me from injecting the attacker with a small vial of wolfsbane as they forced me into a chair.

 

 

**Reader’s POV – Less than six months ago**

 

I watched the scenery fly past as I mulled over our current situation, Sniper sitting silently in the driver’s seat and not caring that he was probably breaking the speed limit. We were unemployed, what the hell could a couple of ex-mercenaries do when that’s all they know? Not to mention the majority of Teufort knowing who we are and not exactly being our number one fans.

 

“Oi,” Sniper called from my left, “I can ‘ear that brain of yours from here,” he grinned, turning his eyes away from the road slightly to look in my direction. When I didn’t respond he sighed, thinking for a moment, I wasn’t usually one to ignore his smart comments, more than likely giggling before offering a witty response. I looked up in confusion when he started to pull over, killing the engine and turning fully to face me, “C’mon, talk to me.”

 

“I…” what was there to say? We had nowhere to go and no jobs, we were screwed, “What’re we supposed to do? Where are we even going?” I sighed.

 

He looked into my eyes, seeing my confused and resigned state. I probably looked like shit; black rings around my eyes from lack of sleep, mussed up hair due to not being brushed, in total I just hadn’t had the motivation to do any of the things I probably should have done in our past week of unemployment. As soon as we’d packed our things and said brief goodbyes to everyone, Sniper and I had gotten straight into his camper and started driving. For the first few hours I fought back tears, a mix of sadness, confusion and even some anger all being too overwhelming, but I suppressed it, stayed silent and barely lingered my gaze on the bushman in fear of breaking down.

 

The hand that had started to stroke my hair caught my attention, “I know this isn’t what you wanna be doing. Given the choice, none of the team would’ve left. But, unlucky for us that arsehole bloody went and fired us,” he stated, referring to Grey Mann. He was the one to challenge Saxton Hale and win the company from him, replacing the team with robot copies and leaving us all without work. We don’t even know what the other guys are planning to do from here on out.

 

“(Y/N), you and me are gonna get ourselves over to Australia,” this aroused my curiosity. I should have expected it, honestly, it’s his home, he has family there. He likely knew that I would want to go with him wherever he decided to go, I had no family of my own anymore and Teufort was my home for the past four years, the closest thing to family being Sniper who’d won me over with roguish charm and cheeky pick-up lines.

 

“So,” I smiled slightly, “I’m finally gonna meet your parents?”

 

This caused him to grin with a devious look in his eyes, “That’s the smile I wanted to get outta ya,” he leaned forward, placing a kiss on the corner of my mouth, “And yes, my parents finally get to meet the girl that makes me sound like a damn chick-flick,” I squeaked as he scooped me up and proceeded to carry me into the back of the van, placing me on the mattress that was used as a makeshift bed, “You need to sleep, love.”

 

“I can’t, I’ve tried but I can’t.”

 

“Then allow me to help you,” the sultry, yet gruff voice he was now using would have made my knees weak, had I been standing. As a lover, he switched between how the scenario would play out depending on mood and current situations, often enjoying to let loose and jump me like a horny teenager, however when the time called for it, he would be slow and caring, putting all of my needs first. Everyone who knew him thought he was the tall stoic type that wouldn’t bow down to anyone, but I knew him much more intimately, listening to stories he wouldn’t dare share with any other member of the team, speaking fondly of his childhood and parents.

 

The almost-three-years I had been with Sniper were easily the best of my life.

 

 

**Miss Pauling’s POV – Present time**

 

Demo was still unconscious, whatever had been used to knock him out was strong. Looking at the burly man before me, I tried to wake him up by whispering his name, slowly increasing the volume of my voice; _This isn’t working. Think, Pauling, think!_ Collecting as much saliva as I could in my mouth, I aimed my face slightly upwards before spitting in Demo’s direction. This went on for nearly ten minutes and I was progressively getting more and more dehydrated.

 

A groan escaped the larger man, his eye finally opening, “Bloody Hell, girl! Are you _spitting_ on me?”

 

“Yes!” I hissed, “I’ve been trying to wake you up for ten minutes!”

 

“Ye’ve been spittin’ on me for _ten minutes_?”

 

“Demo,” I said in an exasperated tone, “I’m tied up and I’m _very_ thirsty!”

 

His face broke out into a strange smirk, “Well, that is _disgustin’_. But it worked, I’m up.” Looking past me, he nodded slightly, “Aye, here’s what we’ll do. There’s a fork on the floor just behind you. Kick it over and I’ll-“ he was cut short by a sharp needle being jammed into the side of his neck. Barely a second later and he was out like a light.

 

“Sorry, mate. Can’t have you up for what happens next,” Sniper was now stood before me, a hand placed on Demo’s shoulder.

 

“What’s in that?” I furrowed my brows, looking between the tall man and the syringe in his hand, “Did you _poison_ him, Sniper?”

 

Walking over to an old stove, he pointed to a large brown jug, “Nah. Gave ‘im a neckful of the family moonshine. Fresh batch, it don’t keep long. Melts through the barrels,” approaching me now, he slipped a sharp blade from the holster on his leg. “Anyway, let’s get to it. My parents…” he paused, looking down, “Passed six month ago.”

 

“Sniper, I’m sorry…”

 

“Not my point,” he said, the sorrowful tone of voice being forced back, “When I was clearin’ out the house, I found somethin’. They’re not my real parents.” He started focusing his attention on the knife in his hands, “So I went off the grid for a bit, started diggin’ around. Everything leaves a trail, Miss Pauling. _Everything_ , except _me_. It’s like I fell from the sky. Nobody knows nothin’,” a moment passed before his gaze was on me again, “But you know,” the knife was right in front of my face now, “Don’tcha, Miss Pauling? So here’s what’s gonna happen, yer gonna start talkin’ and-”

 

“We’re going there now! We came to ask you to come _with_ us!” I smiled softly, raising a brow, “Jesus, Sniper, is _that_ all you want? To meet your birth parents?”

 

“You’re… going to meet my parents,” it was phrased to sound like a statement, but it was obvious that he was questioning a lot of things in that moment.

 

“Yep!” I exclaimed, “Also, the shock you’re feeling right now? That might be you heart stopping. I injected you with wolfsbane when you were tying me up, you should probably untie me so I can give you the antidote.”

 

He released a breathy laugh as he started to cut my bounds, “Can’t have that, (Y/N) wouldn’t be too happy about me dying.”

 

Turning my head in his direction, I was about to question what he meant regarding (Y/N), but I was stopped by the creaking of a door to my right and a small (hair colour) haired woman leant against the frame in nothing but a long red shirt and, hopefully, some underwear. “Mundy?” she asked, rubbing her eyes with the thumb and middle finger of her left hand, offering me a clear view of the silver ring on her hand. Judging by how tired she seemed, and the clothes she wore, she must have left the bedroom.

 

When I was finally free of the elaborate rope knots, I handed Sniper the antidote I promised and watched him inject it into his forearm. “I should probably mention, we got ‘itched after entering Australia,” as he finished his sentence he walked over to her, wrapping an arm around her middle, “The honeymoon was a little crap, getting’ here and everything after.”

 

“Hi, Pauling…” (Y/N) waved, seeming bashful as she tried to pull the shirt lower on her body.

 

 

**Reader’s POV**

 

While Miss Pauling untied an unconscious Demo, Sniper sat on the bed and watched me get changed into more suitable clothes, occasionally grinning when he saw something he liked. Tossing his own shirt back at him, I laughed and sat on his lap, taking a moment to contemplate what to say.

 

As if reading my mind, he spoke first, “We’re going to see my parents,” apparently seeing my startled expression, he chuckled and kissed my hair, “My real parents, Miss Pauling said she knows where to find ‘em.” He started stroking the small, single-diamond encrusted ring on my left hand. It was his mother’s- adoptive mother’s. After registering as a married couple there weren’t really many thoughts about rings and such, we just wanted to enjoy the moment and get to Mundy’s parent’s house. Sadly, the excitement was ruined when we arrived and found out what’d happened, Sniper sitting in silence for long periods of time and only responding to me in small grunts. It took nearly a week for him to start opening up again, expressing how lost he suddenly felt, but at the same time he was glad to have me there and not deal with this whole situation alone. When he’d started digging around and clearing the house, he’d discovered that his parents weren’t who he believed them to be, he went back to being the quiet and scheming man most knew him to be; he chased whatever sliver of information he could get his hands on, but for six months everything proved pointless.

 

“Well, if this is what you want to do then you know I’m not going to object,” smiling softly, I leaned forward and pressed my lips firmly against his. He responded straight away, placing one arm around my waist and the opposite hand going to the back of my neck, his scratchy stubble against my face only increasing the intensity. Suddenly, I remembered that there were two others just behind the door, one of which would be waiting for us to help with the other who remained asleep.

 

As Sniper and I dragged an unconscious Demo out of the house I giggled, listening to the conversation between Pauling and my husband involving the shallow graves he had apparently dug earlier while I was asleep. We finally managed to haul the large man into the back seat of the car when I decided to voice the question that had been bothering me for the past thirty minutes.

 

“So, where exactly are we going?”


	2. Tragedy Strikes

**Reader’s POV**

 

When I found out that we were going to find Mundy’s birth parents, I wasn’t expecting to be crammed inside of a tiny submarine with seven other people, one of which I had never met and was, to put it simply, rather _intimidating_ despite her attractiveness. Sniper didn’t hesitate to pull me into his lap while everyone was piling into the sub, but when I turned my head to see his face, he had a faraway look in his eyes. _He must be nervous about this…_

 

After her hushed conversation with Soldier and his… girlfriend? Zhanna, Pauling finally addressed the rest of the group, “What do you guys know about New Zealand?”

 

“That you’re about to tell us about it at length,” Spy replied to her. I smiled at his witty response, remembering how much I had missed the whole team being together.

 

“A lot of people confuse it with Australia, but New Zealand was really the opposite. Artists, intellectuals, scientists. All they wanted was to be left alone. Forty years ago they got their wish,” as she continued, a giant dome came into sight while Pauling was manoeuvring the sub towards a large crack, “They built a giant glass dome over the whole country and sunk it to the bottom of the ocean. They lived down here for years. It must have been a utopia, a paradise under the sea. But something happened.”

 

Sniper spoke up for the first time since we got in the sub, one arm tightening around my waist and the other pointing towards the large doors we were approaching, “ _That’s_ where my real parents are? The lost bloody city of New Zealand?”

 

Either Miss Pauling didn’t hear the agitation in his voice or just chose to ignore it, “According to the Administrator, yes. Along with the last cache of Australium. Look alive, everybody, we’re here.”

 

The doors made a loud mechanical noise as we entered the mysterious new environment, the submarine ascending and breaking through the surface of the water. Sniper didn’t waste much time in climbing out, though he made sure to offer his hand to me to ensure that I didn’t slip when stepping onto the platform. Always the gentleman.

 

“So help me God, if you and that old devil are makin’ this up, I’ll… I’ll…” Mundy stuttered before forgetting the rest of his sentence, causing me to step around from behind him and prepare to ask if he was alright, although the reason for his speechless state was revealed to be right before us, “Dad?”

 

A tall man wearing blue robes held his hands out to both sides in a welcoming gesture, his long white beard giving away his age along with the creases on his face, “Welcome to New Zealand, son. Welcome home.”

 

This man who was apparently my real father-in-law led us to another room where an older woman stood, dressed similarly to Bill-Bel -Sniper’s father- and had the white hair and wrinkles to match. Lar-Nah -as we learned her name to be- was not-so-slowly sipping on a large glass of wine as she and Bill-Bel recited the story of how their son was taken from them. Well, _taken_ isn’t quite the right word for it, since they were very blatant with their oblivious nature towards their son who had crawled his way towards the rocket Bill-Bel had built and intended to use to escape, not caring for the well-being of his wife and son.

 

“… And thanks to your father, everyone in New Zealand _drowned_ , and we’ve been stuck in this sealed lab ever since,” Lar-Nah complained and I had to resist openly scowling at the two before us all. They were so caught up with themselves and their bickering that they didn’t even seem the slightest bit concerned for their son that they hadn’t seen for over thirty years.

 

“It… it all makes so much sense now,” Sniper said once his parents had finished their conversation about ‘murder-suicide’, “Why I never grew a moustache or Australian-shaped chest hair. Why I never wanted to fist-fight like the other kids. I’d just hide in a tree and throw stones at them… It’s because I’m not… actually… Austr-“

 

“Um, hi. If I could butt in for _just_ a second here…” Pauling cut him off, putting an end to the revelation of his life. I felt an overwhelming guilt in that moment, this man was the only real family I had and besides me, all of his remaining family barely acknowledged his existence. I placed an arm around the front of his waist, trying and succeeding to get his attention and offered him a loving smile to remind him that I was there and nothing had to be as bad as it was. He took a step closer and wrapped both of his arms around me as Miss Pauling was subtly trying to ask where the cache of Australium was, but I ignored her attempts to focus on my husband.

 

“You okay?” I whispered so only he could hear.

 

His eyes drifted over to his parents, Bill-Bel seemingly acting smart about something or other before sitting in a stunned silence over whatever Pauling had said next. “I guess I’m just a bit confused, love. They’re nothing like I imagined,” I silently agreed with him there, but most likely in a slightly more negative fashion.

 

Suddenly, everyone was following Lar-Nah to another room, Sniper placing a hand on my lower back in order to stay close. Pauling’s bewildered voice floated back to my ears as we all stood there, staring at the golden spaceship, “You used it to _paint your spaceship_.”

 

Pauling looked ready to tear her hair out as Bill-Bel explained that all the Australium had been wasted on destroyed prototype ships and what we were looking at was the last in existence. I had barely turn away for a second when I saw her sharing a glass of wine with Lar-Nah.

 

“Hold on, I just realized…” Bill-Bel was standing to Sniper’s right while I was nestled under his left arm, the former man now looking at his son with a questioning and calculating gaze, “Son… How did you get back from space?”

 

“I never got _to_ space, dad! I crash-landed on Earth!”

 

“But… How did you _survive_? The Earth was covered in magma years ago! I _calculated_ it!”

 

“Dad!” while I might not be as excited to be in their presence, Sniper’s joy made me happy and that’s all I cared about right now, “There _is_ no magma! The world’s _fine_!”

 

“We have something called _America_ now!” Soldier cheered from behind us, causing me to fight back a smile.

 

“So…” Lar-Nah started, “The Earth _hasn’t_ been destroyed, and our spaceship is covered in a _priceless_ metal.”

 

“Lar-Nah! That’s all just _conjecture_!” her husband interjected, “What’s important is that our star-child has _returned_! From the _farthest reaches of space_!” _Surely he’s not trying to appeal as a caring father_ now _…_ “Son, I want you to listen to me. There’s something I’ve been waiting to ask you for a _long time_ ,” he had leaned so close to Mundy that I had to take a step back in order to feel less crowded.

 

“ _Do you… have any money._ ”

 

At this point, I didn’t care if he was my father-in-law, I wanted to knock him on his ass. However, I refrained from lashing out, settling for merely glaring at him as Sniper begrudgingly handed him a fistful of notes.

 

“Thanks, son. Don’t tell your mother.”

 

I noticed Pauling look around the room in her tipsy state, “Where _is_ your mother, anyway?” and before anyone had a chance to answer, a large gust of wind swept past as Mundy held me close to him, a large crash and shattering sound following after. Lar-Nah had stolen the rocket and left everyone in the room behind to die. _Mother of the year? Yeah, maybe not._

 

“MUM!” Sniper’s scream nearly broke my heart, he’d just gotten her back and lost her in the space of thirty minutes. No matter how much I disliked the woman, she was his mother and this wasn’t an outcome either of us had expected. I grabbed his forearm to get his attention as Miss Pauling dashed over to the console on the other side of the room, Spy following close behind. Sniper looked down at me and all I could see was a lost look in his eyes, like when a child is trying to comprehend something extremely sad but they just don’t understand.

 

Spy raced past us, dragging Pauling behind him as the room continued to flood with water; I tugged on Sniper’s arm to follow them but he resisted, “Wait! Where’s my dad?”

 

“He must be back at the lab!” She must have seen the determined look on his face before I did, “Sniper, don’t! If you go back, you’ll die!”

 

“It don’t matter! He’s my dad!”

 

“Mundy, no! Don’t you dare-“ I attempted to reason with him, but he only pushed me towards Pauling and looked straight at me.

 

“If I’m not back in-“

 

“There he is. Over there, by our submarine,” I felt an immense relief as Soldier stated this, assuring me that I wouldn’t have to watch my husband run off to his death, “Now he is _in_ our submarine.”

 

He was… in our submarine. He was _stealing our submarine_.

 

The doors under the water creaked shut as Bill-Bel escaped our view, “Um, sorry,” Pauling whispered to Sniper. Meanwhile, I threaded my fingers through his. This could be our last moments together, I at least wanted to die holding onto him. Cupping the opposite side of his face, I directed his line of sight to me, prepared to share my last words of love to this amazing man who I would gladly die for… But I never got to say them as a loud mechanical sound drew our attention back to the submerged doors.

 

“Wait! It’s opening again!” The smile on his face made my heart race with affection, and the thought of his father having a change of heart nearly brought a smile to my own features, “He came back. _He came back_!... Aw hell.”

 

It took me a few seconds to process it, but once Mundy had fully hit the water a scream tore through my throat. I wrapped an arm under his left one to hold him above the water while pressing the other hand to the bullet in his chest, it was a fruitless attempt since I couldn’t cover the other two in his stomach. Thankfully, Demo rushed over and grabbed his right arm, effectively lifting him up, but his head still hung downwards as he faded out of consciousness. “Mundy? Mundy, baby, please don’t die. _Please_ , you can’t! You promised me you’d stay with me!” My desperate whispers were unheard as his eyes closed, the blood loss getting a hold on him quickly.

 

“I hope the rest of you rejects don’t die that easy,” spoke the large, burley man in the rising ship-like submarine. My eyes weren’t focused on him for long though, they were looking at someone I had once considered a teammate. A _friend_. Medic was grinning his malicious grin as he stood with the bastards who killed my husband, and I have never wanted to see a person die a horrific death more than I did right now, “’Cause we got some questions that need answers. So… who wants to go first?”


	3. Our Blaze of Glory

**Miss Pauling’s POV**

 

“ _Alright, heart, figure out what the liver did. Lungs, you guard my rectum. Liver ain’t welcome here anymore._ ”

 

“Poor guy, what’d they dose him with? Sodium Pentathol?” I questioned as I watched Demo talk to himself, a drooling mess with his head rested on Pyro’s knee.

 

“Solid food and water,” Spy responded, “His body’s spent ten years wrestling nutrients out of grain alcohol and aspirin. I expect it thinks it’s been poisoned.”

 

I released a heavy sigh, losing hope every second that we were in this room. One look at (Y/N) sat in the corner made my stomach clench, the dead look in her eyes which were staring at the floor below her, her arms hanging by her sides, slightly elevated by the chains attaching her to the wall. I could only imagine what she felt at this moment, losing her husband, the last person she truly felt close to was gone and now she looked ready to die, ready to let go of the life that constantly tried to beat her down – only this time, she wouldn’t fight back. “You got any tiny lockpicks in those fake teeth of yours?”

 

“Sadly, no. I went through most of my mouth inventory in Teufort. Unless you can unlock manacles with a miniature passport and the world’s smallest roll of toilet paper, I think we’re stuck here,” and there goes the last idea I could manage, along with the last speck of hope I had.

 

“I have screwed this up so bad, haven’t I?”

 

“Oh, don’t beat yourself up too much. During your tenure as our supervisor, only _one_ of us has died as a result of your decision-making,” he seemed to lower his voice slightly, as if aware that (Y/N) may hear his mention of her deceased partner, “Statistically, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, we’ll _all_ be dead within the hour. So if you think about it, this moment is actually the _high_ point of the remainder-“

 

He froze in place and snapped his mouth shut as the sob broke past my lips, watching as I sniffed and cried. I actually didn’t know the main reason for my outburst, whether it be my impending death or knowing that I failed the Administrator.

 

“Miss Pauling…” Spy whispered for only me to hear, “I will _not_ let them torture us. In three seconds, I’m going to crack a cyanide molar. If you open your mouth, I’ll spit half of it into your throat before my heart stops.”

 

I breathed in deeply before relaxing myself, “Thank you, Spy.”

 

“ _De rien_.”

 

Sat with my mouth wide open, waiting for Spy to hold up his promise and assist me with a fast death, Heavy surprised us by busting down the door and, in Heavy fashion, asked: “What did Heavy miss?”

 

 

**Reader’s POV**

 

He was gone, he was _dead_. They wouldn’t let me near him in the submarine after tying us up, they wouldn’t let me have a moment as the grieving widow I had become only minutes before. I knew he was dead as soon as they tossed his body onto the cold floor and his chest had stopped moving, his form lax and what some may call peaceful. But that wasn’t my husband, my Mundy was always on alert, ready for an attack that may or may not come. He wasn’t often relaxed, barely even in his sleep, and yet there he was, dead on the floor.

 

The first time I had looked up from the ground since being chained up in this tiny grey room was due to Heavy bursting through the door, but my attention didn’t linger on him as he untied Miss Pauling, nor did it stay on her while she was trying to convince Heavy that there could be a better plan than leaving him behind as a distraction. I was vaguely aware of the conversation at hand, then the Heavy suddenly transforming into a tall and slender man wearing black and blue. _The spy of their team, interesting._ Even my thoughts didn’t have the energy to sound genuine. My attention _was_ finally stolen by said enemy spy flying across the room with blood splattered over his nose and mouth, landing on the floor with his head facing an angle that could only mean he was dead. Taking my eyes away from the dead man, I looked up to see Pauling held hostage by the other man who had entered the room – this didn’t last long as Zhanna punched her in the face, effectively knocking the man back and straight towards Spy’s feet.

 

I had stopped focusing on the scene before me as Pyro approached me, unlocking my restraints and mumbling what I assumed was a ‘hello’. I could faintly hear the conversation between Pauling, Spy and Grey Mann, but the second she mentioned Sniper’s name I had to clench my eyes shut and focus on holding myself together, refraining from another bout of crying and mourning. After around five minutes of keeping my eyes closed and attempting to regulate my breathing, I could hear shuffling around the small room, the newest shuffling coming from my right while the constant shuffling of Soldier and Zhanna across the room had been going on the whole time, the two getting nude to use the toilet and everyone simply leaving them to it.

 

A hand was placed on my right arm, pulling it away from my face which had been placed on my knees. Looking up, I saw the blue eyes of Spy. I was reminded of Sniper’s jealous attitude near the beginning of our relationship, how he would bashfully claim that “Of course I’m not bloody jealous! Why would I be jealous of a sodding frog?” and how cute his blushing face looked when I told him that his jealousy was flattering. Spy, being the serial flirt that he is, targeted me for quite a while, and it wasn’t until Sniper had started to act upon our relationship more publicly that Spy gave up on his advances, at least the less serious ones.

 

“(Y/N), we need to leave,” he whispered, understanding that, despite being a trained mercenary, I wasn’t prepared for this and I was slowly breaking, “I know that you don’t wish to move, that perhaps you would rather stay here and wait for death, yourself. But you know he wouldn’t want that, the bushman cared too much to let anything bad happen to you.”

 

I clenched my jaw again, trying to hold in my emotion, “I just can’t convince myself that it’s the best choice though… It sounds stupid and cliché, but I honestly feel like a part of me died with him…”

 

“It is not stupid, mon cher. You were married, it’s only natural to mourn his loss,” his thumb was brushing a stray tear that had fallen from my lids, “But even if you cannot do it for yourself, I will selfishly ask that you do it for everyone else.”

 

I stared at him for a second, surprise taking over my mind. _Maybe he’s right… I… I have to do it for them, they’re still my team. They’re still my friends._

 

“Okay… Okay, let’s go.”

 

 

**Sniper’s POV**

 

The surreal scene around me looks like an expensive painting you’d see in a fancy museum, pristine white clouds with sun shining through gaps here and there and the occasional patch of blue sky. But that wasn’t what I cared about, I was too entranced by the sight before me. My parents – _adoptive_ parents, yet they were more real than the ones I had met earlier today, and I was far more thrilled to see these ones again than I was to meet the others for the first time.

 

“But I don’t _want_ to go,” I pleaded with the two, “I want to stay _here_ , with you.”

 

“And we _want_ ya ta stay, dear. But you left a lot of rotten bastards down there that need _killin’_ ,” my mother smiled jovially, “Not ta mention that beautiful wife ‘a yours, you can’t be leaving her all on her own.”

 

 _Oh God, (Y/N)…_ In my shock, I had forgotten that she was still back there. _The poor girl’s probably worried sick!_

 

“Yer mum’s right, a _professional_ wouldn’t quit when there’s still _work_ to be done. And you _are_ a professional, son,” dad said, patting me on the shoulder with a proud smile. It made my heart swell to know that he believed in me, despite everything he used to say about my job, “Now get back there and give ‘em _Hell_. And take good care of yer girl.”

 

Gasping for breath, I lurched upwards and away from the ice-cold surface beneath me. I immediately felt a stinging sensation across the majority of my torso, looking down to see at _least_ five stitched up wounds, “Bloody _Hell_ …”

 

“Ah! Good, you survived the procedure. I was worried there would be no witnesses to my _crowning medical achievement_!” Medic rambled on, “It’s like I’ve always said! There’s nothing _wrong_ with playing God, so long as you are _good_ at-“ he didn’t get the chance to continue due to the hand I placed around his neck with a vice grip before I shoved him into the metal trolley behind him.

 

“You utter… bloody… _bastard_ ,” I seethed, “YOU _KILLED_ ME!”

 

“Well, yes. I also did just bring you _back from the dead_. Partial points there, _ja_?” the doctor tried to reason, “Also, technically I didn’t ‘ _kill_ ’ you. I was standing next to the person who killed you.”

 

“You were _smilin’_. The last thing I _saw_ ‘fore I bled out and _died_ was your smug, evil grin!”

 

“I was happy to see you! That’s just how I _look_ when I smile! Smug and evil!” Plastering a wide grin on his face, he continued, “See?”

 

“How could you join _them_?”

 

“Our team _disbanded_. They needed a medic! Black market organs don’t march directly out of exotic animals into your body cavity. My experiments require _funding_. I feel like we are glossing over the part where I defied modern medicine and brought you back to life.”

 

Finally, I released the mad man’s throat, “How… long was I gone?

 

“ _Twelve hours_! This was my greatest triumph!” _Heh, (Y/N)’s goin’ to kill me._ “It also cost my employers somewhere in the neighbourhood of 1.3 billion dollars, so try not to get shot again.”

 

“So it was _real_ , then. Me mum and dad, they’re…” I sat on this thought for a second before a smile twitched at the corners of my mouth, “D’yer know what this means?”

 

“It means you hallucinated before brain death, _mein freund_ ,” Medic stated as he held up a large purple organ-looking object, “I injected a blue whale’s pineal gland directly into your brain stem.”

 

“Nah, mate,” I was smiling as smug as the man before me did after I woke up, “It means I’m the _most dangerous bloody man_ on this island. I _know_ what’s waitin’ for me when I kark it. I ain’t afraid to _die_.” The thought was motivating, to say the least, “’Cept not just yet. Bein’ dead’s the longest holiday I ever took. Time to get back to _work_.”

 

“Out of the question,” Medic shook a hand in front of his chest, “You are in no condition to…”

 

“ _You are fucking kiddin’ me. Why. Is he. ALIVE?_ ”

 

Medic and I were now both facing a very large and very angry man, the very man that led the group who was now terrorising my team. I stood a few feet away from the two other men as the unnamed man grabbed Medic’s beloved dove and threw it to the ground, Medic soon diving to the floor to perform an impromptu surgery. During the loud argument between the two, mostly on the other man’s part, I slipped out of the room in an attempt to find the others.

 

_I’m comin’, (Y/N). I ain’t breakin’ that promise again._

 

 

**Reader’s POV**

 

I clutched weakly at the gash around my left side, a feeble attempt at keeping what was left of my blood on the inside, but thanks to those robots it was a pointless task. They had won, most of the team were dead or dying and I couldn’t find my will to resist that shadow clouding my vision any longer. Slowly, I let my eyes fall shut and the cold embrace known as death clung to my being.

 

 

“Love, you still awake?” the gruff voice I loved to hear so much asked, soft but still gravelly and sexy.

 

I only hummed in reply, tightening my arm around his middle and burying my face into his chest. He chuckled at my attempt to sound awake and he felt proud to know he was the reason for me being so tired, _smug pervert_.

 

“I can’t wait ‘til we get to your parents,” I whispered. It would only be a matter of days until we got there now.

 

He placed a gentle kiss to my scalp, “I know, Sheila. Me neither.”

 

It was at times like this when I knew that I really loved Mundy, when we could lay in silence and enjoy each other’s company. Times where we could just _be_. His fingers were running up and down my naked back, bringing a small smile to my face at the ticklish feeling it created. He always seemed to do this sort of thing after a _romantic_ evening, like an absent-minded action that calmed him as much as it soothed me.

 

“You know I love you, right?” his tone was still gentle, but it now held a seriousness to it that persuaded me to look at his face. Pushing myself onto one arm at his side and the other laying across his chest, I looked into the blue eyes that I adored to the stars and back.

 

“Of course I do, Mundy. I wouldn’t be following you all the way to Australia if I didn’t,” I tried to tease him with that remark, and it seemed to work judging by the little smile on his face, but he still had a hint of seriousness in those eyes.

 

All of a sudden, he had sat up and held me at arm’s length, making sure to keep my attention on him as he spoke, “(Y/N), I’ve loved you for over two years, nearly three now. Bloody Hell, do I love you,” he paused to let me stop giggling for a few seconds, “I’ll tell you now, I’ve no doubt that I’m not goin’ to stop loving you for a bloody long time…”

 

“(Y/N) (L/N), will you marry me?”

 

Either everything had slowed down around me, or my mind was taking a bit too long to process what he had said, but once it finally clicked my jaw went slack and my eyes wide. This man, one who prided himself in his mysterious nature and professionalism as an assassin… was asking to marry me. The question itself seemed to make him terrified, like he wasn’t expecting to have actually said it, and now a look of apprehension and fear painted his features.

 

With a voice as soft as the look in my eyes, I whispered the only thing I could come up with, “Mrs. Mundy… I think that has a ring to it…”

 

Relief visibly crashes down over the Aussie man, a bubble of gruff laughter spilling forth before he wraps both arms around my waist and pulls me into his lap, “You ‘ad me scared there for a second, Sheila. Thought you’d say ‘no’.”

 

Placing both hands on the sides of his face, I leaned down and placed a hard kiss to his lips, lingering for a moment or two before parting. “We’re kind of jobless and broke,” I chuckled, “How are we going to get married?”

 

“I mean, we could register for it once we get to Australia? I never actually considered you might want to have a big fancy wedding… Bugger, I really didn’t think far enough ahead, did I…”

 

Grinning at this, I helped him out, “I think registering sounds perfect. I mean we don’t exactly have a whole lot of friends to invite to a wedding and any friends we _do_ have are God knows where by now.” It was true, we hadn’t had contact with anyone since the team split up and they could all be dead, for all we knew.

 

“I don’t know about you, but a quiet wedding with just us two, then our own _personal reception_ sounds bloody perfect,” and there was that perverted smirk again, it wasn’t before long that he had me back beneath him, pressing rough kisses down my neck and chest.

 

_The best night of my life…_

 

 

The nauseous feeling in my stomach was increasing rapidly as I felt like I was being jostled back and forth. Perhaps that’s because I _was_ being jostled back and forth by a wide-eyed Medic, a wide smile spreading across his face as my eyes adjusted completely.

 

“Ah! Finally, fräulein. I was starting to think that-“ I interrupted his sentence as I forced myself from the ground, weakly attempting to wrap my hands around his throat, “Not you too! Come now, stop that. You’re just as bad as Sniper.”

 

“Don’t you _dare_ say his name, you traitorous bastard! You’re one of the reasons he’s dead!” I screamed, a red-hot rage fuelling my words more than my actions, thanks to my weak state.

 

“Perhaps, yes. But I am also the reason that he is alive again!” Medic proclaimed happily, stating it as if he weren’t talking about resurrecting my dead husband.

 

“Wait, you’re saying he… he’s alive…” I breathed, hope building up in my chest as I thought about seeing my husband again.

 

Medic placed one hand on my elbow as he helped me stand, “Ja! He’s perfectly- well, mostly fine. But that can wait! Help me collect all of this blood!”

 

Medic had some strange ideas and methods in the time I had known him, but I stopped questioning it long ago, so I brushed off my trousers and got to work, knocking down the bloodsucking robots with Demo’s help and draining them, occasionally having to sponge some of the blood off the floor with Zhanna. Medic was preoccupied with running around with the full buckets and pouring them into Soldier's gaping stomach wound, rambling to Pauling about how some of us had only _momentarily_ died, and thanks to him, our hearts had barely been given time to stop at all.

 

“ _Miss Pauling, I’ve been using my own underwear to sponge blood out of puddles. Trust me, the type is the least of your problems_.”

 

The two continued back and forth for a few more minutes, jumping from Demo’s alcoholism being the cause of the robots’ alcohol poisoning to what our next course of action was as a team. _A team… I shouldn’t have given up so quickly,_ I inwardly chuckled, _Nothing can knock this group down._ After a brief moment where Scout and Heavy arrived, parachuting in from the sky, and Scout giving Pauling a tight hug, we were on our way again, planning our escape.

 

And then there was the army of robots that replicated the team. _Yeah… kind of forgot about those guys…_ “Bollocks,” I mumbled, knowing that it would likely be Sniper’s response too.

 

“Do not worry, men! I have _crapped_ my way out of tougher jams than this! Surrounded on one side? Ha! These tin cans couldn’t surround their own asses with both hands! I-“ Soldier trailed off as he turned around, “Oh, they are on _both_ sides of us. Men, we are going to die.”

 

“It’s a good thing we ain’t got any _guns_ , Soldier…” Scout yelled to the man behind him, “’Cause I’d shoot you _right now_ before these robots kill us.” Scout continued his yelling until he was struck over the head by a large crate, proceeding to then struggle at reading the large letters printed on the side, “Sub… Submack… Mackeen… No, wait. Lemme start over. Sub-“

 

“Scout, read faster,” Pauling ordered as I mumbled curses under my breath.

 

After concluding that we now had a supply of _submackeens_ , we all directed our attention to the loud man in the sky and the woman beside him, carrying a smaller man dressed like a pilot, “SAXTON HAAAALE!”

 

Switching between a pistol and shotgun, I stood with my team, _my family_ , once again fighting for our lives on the field. I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering, however, wondering where my husband was now. _Medic said he was alive, so is he still inside? Do they have him locked up like we were?_ It didn’t matter; wherever he was, I would find him and we’d be as unstoppable as ever with the rest of the team back by our sides.

 

 

**Sniper’s POV**

 

“ _Wait, what? When?_ ”

 

“ _Just now. Some naked guy fell out of the sky with a load of weapon crates_.”

 

“ _Aw, bloody Hell…_ ” I muttered, clutching the long plank of wood in my hands. Before I had the chance to ambush the bastard who shot me back in New Zealand, the door had closed and a gunshot rang out, Spy’s pained scream following close behind. I dashed down the hall towards a set of stairs leading upwards, mumbling a series of ‘ _bugger, bugger, bugger_ ’ as I went. Finally, I came to a closed door, ramming against it with my shoulder and collapsing on the now fallen door, letting out a pained groan due to my torn stitches. Huffing as I crawled to the window and pulled myself up, I punched through the glass and heaved myself through the hole, continuing my mantra of ‘ _bugger_ ’s. The fabric of my pants had caught on the side of the window and, in my rush, I left them there, finding Spy’s life a bit more important at the moment. _But mostly the perfect opportunity to kill that poor excuse for a sniper_.

 

Shuffling along the ledge and feeling the cool breeze made me slightly more aware of my exposure, _Gives (Y/N) a nice surprise when I find her, though_. Chuckling at my internal monologue, I focused my mind back to the task at hand, climbing through the window and grabbing the sniper rifle before me.

 

The man with an extremely long beard turned at the sound of his gun clicking, looking almost tired of the situation already, “Right, now just think this though for a second, son. I’m sittin’ on a-“ the bullet passing through his skull quickly put an end to whatever negotiation he was attempting. Placing the gun down, I hobbled my way over the the injured spy on the floor.

 

“If I forgot to mention it before now…” the Frenchman started, “You snipers are the _worst people on the planet_.”

 

“He wasn’t a sniper, he was a _sadist_. There’s a difference,” I corrected him, grunting at the pain around my broken stitches, “Snipers don’t muck around with gunshots and monologues. We just take the shot.”

 

“Yes, you’re a credit to the institution of shooting people from far away. Some of us would have _enjoyed_ torturing him first, by the way.”

 

Holding a hand over my stomach as I slumped against the wall and to the floor, I huffed out my words, “Yeah, well… Next time speak up before I blow his head off.” Looking to the nicotine stick in his hand, I held out my own to him, “Let’s have one of them cigs.” Taking a long drag from the lit cigarette, I mulled over our options, “So… How do you reckon we get _outta_ here?”

 

After a lot of aimless wandering through the many halls of the enemy headquarters, I started to wonder where the team was, where (Y/N) was, “I wonder where the others are…”

 

“Yes, I was wondering the same, except about your _pants_ ,” Spy huffed, propping himself up with a plank of wood due to the wound in his left knee, “And when you’ll be putting some _on_.”

 

“It’s nothin’ but robots and rubble here, mate. We’re not exactly sneakin’ through a pants store…”

 

“I still don’t see why you couldn’t have stolen the pants off the dead man.”

 

Scrunching up my nose at this, I asked: “Y’do _know_ what people do in their pants when they die, right?”

 

“Yes, I am aware,” he replied curtly, “It would still be preferable.”

 

A couple beats of silence passed before I spoke again, “’Ere, I’ve an idea. Give us your coat.” Spy didn’t respond straight away, prompting me to repeat myself, “I said give us y-“

 

“I heard… _exactly_ … what you said,” he seethed in response, “Bushman, this is a $10,000 custom-tailored Louis Crabbemarche jacket. The cloth is from silkworms raised at a microfarm in Tuscany, from a secret pattern passed down by monk tailors since the seventh century,” the glare he directed at me would send most men running for the hills, but I stood and waited for him to finish as we rounded a corner, “I will let you use it as an _adult diaper_ … when you pry it off my cold, dead…” his words dulled down to a faint whisper, “Body…”

 

“Oh, hey guys,” the weak voice of Scout surprised me, not expecting to see him here, nor in such a beaten state, “See all these robots? That’s me. I did that. Last one got a couple lucky swings in, though,” he took in a deep breath before continuing his rambling, “How’m I lookin’? Does it look bad? It looks good, right? Yeah, I’ll probably be okay. Man, am I tired, by the way.”

 

“Mate,” I lightly shoved the man beside me, hoping he understands what he needs to do now.

 

With a heavy sigh, he started, “Yes, I know. Give us a moment,” and I did, stepping back to let Spy talk to his unknowing son, taking what could be his last chance to tell him the truth.

 

Watching the scene play out made me think of (Y/N), _I wonder if she’d have ever brought it up… Havin’ a kid_. I realised that we’d never actually talked about it, Hell, I wasn’t even sure myself if having kids with our jobs would be smart, never mind possible. Plus, I never even expected to get married in my lifetime, but meeting (Y/N) changed everything, _The cheeky minx sunk her bloody claws into me and I never felt happier_. Scout’s occasional mention of Tom Jones confused me, wondering what he was blathering about, but Spy didn’t waver, continuing his speech that didn’t seem to be making its way to Scout’s ears. The final words to spill from his lips being a breathy ‘ _frickin’… awesome…_ ’.

 

Spy took another few moments to breath, letting the situation sink in before he gently laid the boy down and stood straight, gathering his wooden plank and leaning against it again, “Should we bury ‘im?” I asked as we started down the hall again.

 

“If you’re hiding a shovel, rinse it off and give it to me,” the other man grunted, “I could _use_ a weapon.”

 

We had barely walked a few feet before hearing a faint cough, the Frenchman and I spinning around to see Scout pulling himself up slowly, “Well, I’ll be…” I chuckled.

 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” his French accent clear in his less than pleased tone.

 

 

**Reader POV**

 

“Zhanna, you are a genius! Now you can light me on _fire_!”

 

“Yes! I will light us _both_ on fire!”

 

As strange as it was, I was happy to see Soldier as happy as he was. The almost insane dynamic they had, it just worked so well, even if it was slightly terrifying.

 

“Guys! Where’s Miss Pauling?” I couldn’t see her anywhere and a small bout of panic shot through me, _Don’t tell me she’s missing… or dead. Again…_

 

“Zhanna, look! We killed so many robots Miss Pauling is buried under a pile of them! I am concerned for her! But also proud of us!” Soldier’s loud voice boomed as I looked over to see a feminine hand reaching towards a ringing phone. Walking over to the pile behind Zhanna, I watched her pull Pauling out with a dissatisfied look on her face. If it weren’t so intimidating, I might have let myself laugh.

 

Grabbing the phone with a speed I had never seen before, she answered with a frantic tone, “Administrator! It’s Pauling. I’m here… Engie? Where have you been? Where _are_ you?... Engie, it’s gone, it’s… it’s… well, it’s sort of in space. I’m so sorry,” taking a second, she heaved a long sigh, “Yeah, I know. Look… It’s _my_ fault. Just… Put her on, _I’ll_ give her the bad news… Wait, what? Hello? Engie?”

 

Seeing her finish up her conversation, Zhanna placed her fist on the wall behind Pauling’s head and questioned who she was talking to. Once Zhanna started giving the smaller woman an inspirational speech, I started looking around the desolated area for the rest of the team. I could faintly hear Zhanna telling Pauling to stay away from ‘ _her man_ ’ and ‘ _other girl understands, she is married woman_ ’. And if hearing her words weren’t enough to bring a smile to my face, then seeing my husband wander around the corner certainly did. His appearance, which was very much _naked_ , caused Pauling to stop her frustrated rant about the team and their professionalism.

 

“Hello, naked Sniper,” Soldier greeted, receiving a curt wave and ‘ _hey’_ from the taller man.

 

He turned his attention to me, who had been simply staring at his face like I hadn’t seen it in years. _It certainly felt like it_. Holding open his arms for me was all I needed before I was jogging over to him, acutely aware of the blood and stitches across his torso that would likely hurt if too much pressure was applied, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and lightly placed my head against his right pectoral muscle.

 

“Sorry if I took too long. Didn’t quite expect to be dead for so long, but you can blame Medic for not working faster,” the teasing tone he had brought tears to my eyes, yet I couldn’t hold back the laugh that bubbled up from my stomach.

 

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” I whispered, looking up to him. He understood what I was waiting for and pressed his lips against my own, tightening his hold on me which effectively pressed me against his wounded stomach and led him to groan in slight pain. But he didn’t pull away, fresh droplets of his blood soaking into my shirt and yet I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect moment in this crappy, rollercoaster of a day. “Wait,” I tried to hold back my grin as I pulled away, “You… are very, _very_ naked,” this made the both of us laugh like we weren’t stood in a warzone. “C’mon, there’s a crate of clothes over here,” I laced my fingers with his as I pulled him towards said crate, offering him help here and there due to his injuries. Once he was fully dressed, I passed him his specialty weapon and looked straight into his eyes, “Let’s finish up here, I want to take a goddamn bath.”

 

“And that’s the _last_ of the robots, lads!” our ex-employer cheered. Hopefully he’ll be back in the big chair soon so we can officially have our jobs back.

 

Pauling’s panicked shout of “Oh, no. No, no, no!” drew the attention of everyone who had finally finished up with the remaining metal men. “You wanna know how we beat you?” she asked the dying man who, hours before, had terrorised us all, “I honestly have no fucking clue. Maybe it was just luck, maybe it was something else.”

 

“It’s because we don’t have souls,” Medic jumped in from the background.

 

“What?”

 

“Well, _they_ don’t. But- Nothing, carry on.” That was all it took for everyone to move past his usual odd behaviour.

 

“I don’t know what to tell you. But either way…” Everyone had gathered together behind the petit woman, most of the team looking smugly at the dying man on the ground, “We’re Team Fortress, and you’re _dead_.”

 

And she was right, as all sign of life slowly drifted away from the bastard at last. As strange as it may sound, the setting sun cast an almost relaxing feeling over the surrounding area, the peace and quiet settling everyone as people wandered off to talk to each other. I spent a good five minutes cooing over the baby baboon that Medic had mysteriously been cradling in his arms before tucking myself into Mundy’s side and slowly following the team as they walked.

 

“You looked at that baboon like it was a proper baby,” my husband laughed, poking me in the ribs.

 

Giggling at his playfulness, I smiled lovingly at him, “Well, it is a baby, a baby baboon!”

 

A beat of silence rolled past before Sniper spoke again, “God, I can’t wait to have a bloody lie down. I think after today, we deserve it,” a hard kiss was placed to the crown of my head, “Let’s get the hell outta here, Sheila.”

 

 

_They say “‘til death do us part”, but even death couldn’t keep us apart for long. Maybe twelve hours, at most._


End file.
